MOVIES/VIDEOS, TELEVISION/VIDEOS and BOOKS: The Top 7 Most Embarrassing Moments In Science Fiction

This is from the blog, Slice of Scifi. - OlderMusicGeek

The Top 7 Most Embarrassing Moments in Science Fiction
Posted by Sam on Friday, 25 Apr 2008
Submitted by: Mike McCafferty (SoSF Guest Contributor)

A list! An internet list! Ooooh, Shiny! Clickey-clickey!

Let’s face it, despite our brains being larger than that of the general populace, even Sci-fi fans are drawn to internet lists like Mynocks to Kessel running smuggler ships. It would be easy to cobble together another “Top 10 best Sci-Fi series EVAR” that get pushed out by lesser websites, slap it on the site for people to howl that I left off their favorite show and call it a solar day. But that’s not how I roll, peeps.

Instead, I present the worst moments of Sci-Fi. We’re still in a golden age of Sci-fi where every network carries at least one show and we even have a channel that shows only Science Fiction (and wrestling…um, wha?), but that was not always the case. The Cause stumbled for many years and still has missteps of judgment where we all grimace as the skeptics nod their heads and proclaim that Sci-fi is just for kids. So I have cobbled together the top 5 moments, the ones that slow us down or stopped us altogether. They are actually in chronological order, but we do love lists so…

7 . Lost in Space – When they lost their nerve.

Mention Lost in Space nowadays and you instantly think “Danger, Will Robinson”, Dr. Smith’s bumbling idiocy and if that chimp they strapped the phony ears to ever went on a rampage and ripped off a cameraman’s face.

But did you ever watch the first 10 episodes? They were compelling, thoughtful, dangerous stories of a family that’s trying desperately to survive in a hostile universe. Watch the pilot episode and Dr. Smith actually KILLS a guy, and then tries to kill the Robinson family using the reprogrammed robot. Now that’s good sci-fi.

So what happened? Well, for one, it’s hard to justify keeping a guy on your ship who wants to kill you every episode, so the writers had to soften Dr. Smith down. The comedy trio/uncomfortable sexual grouping of Dr. Smith, Will Robinson and The Robot instantly appealed to the youth market and the network seized upon it. From that point on, it became dumbed down, space pirate, camp that resembled the Adam West Batman more than a survival series. Nonetheless, the short-term effect was ratings gold, GOLD I say Will!

The long -term effect was to play into every skeptics hands that Science Fiction was silly, children’s fare. In this case they were right. Well, at least Star Trek was on the same years so it offset the…uh oh…

6. Star Trek – “Spock’s Brain”

Trek fans rejoice! Your long hours of letter writing (present day emailing), picketing NBC (present day sending nuts) and pamphlet circulating (er, blogs?) have done the impossible! You have actually saved your show in a first ever decision from a network! Huzzah, you’ve earned this! Here is the premiere episode of season three: A planet of intellectual morons, ruled by women (no jokes here!) steals Mr. Spock’s Brain and puts in a computer (huh?). Kirk and company beam down with the brainless body of Mr. Spock and are captured by the Sudoku challenged women (no jokes here!) and must free themselves and return Spock’s Brain to it’s body!!

Considered one of the worst of the 79 episodes, “Spock Brain” was the ridiculous, insulting episode served up to the fans following their tireless work to save the show. True, NBC did the series no favors by slashing the budget and shifting it to the Friday at 10pm time slot. Still, the sight of Spock, brainless but controlled by a hat like device, stumbling around put a bad taste in the fans mouths and guaranteed the show would be cancelled.

This of course left William Shatner time to…

5. Bill Shatner Performs Rocket Man.

In the pre-Star Wars 70’s, we almost lost the thread on Sci-Fi. SF Shows were few and far between and films were a joke. Even worse, someone let Shatner out of his cage and he went ahead and recorded his now famous album “The Transformed Man”.

He followed this up with a performance during the Science Fiction awards where he outdid his Star Trek episode “Two Kirks” bit with THREE SHATNERS. The universe shuddered that day as a sweaty Bill spoke his way through the song with two pretaped versions of himself (If they were real, then this becomes Sci-fi’s BEST moment.). The audience, shocked and disoriented mustered applause at the end, but were later found washing those same hands crying “dirty, dirty, dirty!”

I’m not sure many saw the broadcast, but you only need the disaster to happen once for the memories to linger. Speaking of that…

4. The Star Wars Holiday Special – It is the stuff of legend. Let’s see we got:
# 1. A story line set around a family of Wookies who DON’T speak English, leaving us to guess what they are saying.
# 2. Bea Arthur
# 3. A drugged out Carrie Fisher singing some terrible ‘festival of light’ song to the Star Wars theme music.
# 4. Harrison Ford and Mark Hamill sleepwalking through their performances.
# 5. Harvey Korman as a 4 armed cooking show host.
# 6. Art Carney as a friend of the Wookies (Bet you a million dollars he had no idea what a Wookie was before the show. Probably still didn’t after.)
# 7. Jefferson Starship (I can see the pitch “Hell, they got the name ‘Starship’ in their title!”) as a holographic rock and roll band.
# 8. Bea Arthur.

This was a franchise killer if there ever was one. It only aired once and Lucas wisely has destroyed every legal copy around. Unfortunately, for those of us who stayed up and WATCHED the thing, it is seared in our minds as only traumatic events can. Aside from the mildly interesting Boba Fett appearance, this show was a cheaply made, awkwardly produced money grab by Lucas and company. He learned his lesson…until…

3. Jar-Jar Binks! For all the Lucas haters out there, the line of incrimination begins at the Star Wars Christmas Special and runs through Jar-Jar. This cloying, irritating CGI abomination almost instantly reduced any goodwill from a Star Wars fan to the franchise by half. Aside from the fact that he was vaguely racist, he just wasn’t FUNNY, a prerequisite for characters billed as ‘Comic relief’. The only ‘relief’ came when Lucas wisely pushed Jar-Jar into the same vault as the Christmas Special and locked the key. The damage was done and the next two films had to work extra hard to escape the Gungan’s insidious plot to make the second trilogy unwatchable.

2. The Matrix Reloaded

When The Matrix came out, the singularity of Science Fiction had arrived. With amazing special effects, badass fight sequences, Star Wars like mythology and trendy people in trendy (black) clothes, The Matrix showed the world that Sci-Fi could be mainstream and cool.

Then they made a sequel.

Reloaded isn’t terrible, just self-indulgent. Gone was the lean, sharp story telling; replaced now with a bloated plot, too many characters (Jada Pinket? Really?) and too much CGI. What was once a simple story of “Beat the bad guys”, morphed into keymasters, dreadlocked twins and French dudes that we just didn’t care about.

Of course, what I’m really building up to is this: The rave.

Yup, an entire franchise was sacrificed so that hip, trendy people living underground could dance in a sweaty sexy montage. This was when Sci-Fi fans just lowered their heads in their heads in the movie theater and shook it slowly.

1. January 1st, 2001

I’m not talking about the classic Stanley Kubrick movie, I’m talking about the actually date. See the movie 2001 is a masterpiece of Science and Fiction – a best guess as to how the future could/should turn out from one of the world’s smartest scientists and authors. With moon bases, commercial space flight to orbiting space stations and a manned mission to Jupiter, it seemed logical and desirable. After all, the very next year we landed on the Moon. The Frelling Moon!

January 1st, 2001 is embarrassing to all Science fiction fans because we’re still stuck on Earth. 32 years after that film came out and 29 since the last Apollo mission, we still haven’t gone back to the Moon, much less landed on Mars (But we have probed Uranus!) Sure we have the internet, Xbox and the carpool lanes but the basic tenet of Science Fiction to explore has fallen by the wayside and as guardians of the future, we have to take a little blame for it. We can only look to the hazy sky now and know that we missed a golden opportunity. There will be no real life Star Trek, Star Wars or 2001 for our generation. Most people recovered from bad hangovers January 1st, 2001. Science Fiction fans sighed and pulled out their copies of 2010 and 3001, hoping maybe they’ll get one more shot.

Well, there it was. You know what the best part of internet lists are? They’re always right! Let’s print this baby out and put it in a time vault for the next generation to learn from. This is pure gold pressed latinum!

Wuzat? You have a better list?! Well, there’s a comment section on this site, Admiral, use it! Take me to task or tweak the list but be warned: bring your “A” game or you just might make next years list. That is, if there is an internet next year…

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A link to the original post
A link to Slice of Scifi

MUSIC: Wasteland Of The Free

I guess some won't find this the most appropriate song to play on Independence Day, but what Iris said back in 1996 is still unfortunately very true 12 years later. And if we love our country, we ought to do something about making this song less true. - OlderMusicGeek



Living in the wasteland of the free...
We got preachers dealing in politics and diamond mines
and their speech is growing increasingly unkind
They say they are Christ's disciples
but they don't look like Jesus to me
and it feels like I am living in the wasteland of the free
We got politicians running races on corporate cash
Now don't tell me they don't turn around and kiss them peoples' ass
You may call me old-fashioned
but that don't fit my picture of a true democracy
and it feels like I am living in the wasteland of the free
We got CEO's making two hundred times the workers' pay
but they'll fight like hell against raising the minimum wage
and if you don't like it, mister, they'll ship your job
to some third-world country 'cross the sea
and it feels like I am living in the wasteland of the free
Living in the wasteland of the free
where the poor have now become the enemy
Let's blame our troubles on the weak ones
Sounds like some kind of Hitler remedy
Living in the wasteland of the free
We got little kids with guns fighting inner city wars
So what do we do, we put these little kids behind prison doors
and we call ourselves the advanced civilization
that sounds like crap to me
and it feels like I am living in the wasteland of the free
We got high-school kids running 'round in Calvin Klein and Guess
who cannot pass a sixth-grade written test
but if you ask them, they can tell you
the name of every crotch on MTV
and it feels like I am living in the wasteland of the free
We kill for oil, then we throw a party when we win
Some guy refuses to fight, and we call THAT the sin
but he's standing up for what he believes in
and that seems pretty damned American to me
and it feels like I am living in the wasteland of the free
Living in the wasteland of the free
where the poor have now become the enemy
Let's blame our troubles on the weak ones
Sounds like some kind of Hitler remedy
Living in the wasteland of the free
While we sit gloating in our greatness
justice is sinking to the bottom of the sea
Living in the wasteland of the free
Living in the wasteland of the free
Living in the wasteland of the free



Here's a video that's been done recently to the song...



wastelandofthefree.com, a website inspired by the song
Iris Dement's home page

ENTERTAINMENT, TELEVISION and BOOKS: George Carlin Died

This is from me, NOT some reprinted from somewhere else. - OlderMusicGeek

Some people have said George Carlin has passed on or that we lost him. Well, neither are true. He's dead, maybe even screaming up at us.


I have to admit I haven't listen or watched George Carlin much in the last 20 years.

And that's unfortunate, because from what I have seen and read, he was still putting out some very good and funny material.


I guess in some ways, I had felt I had outgrown George Carlin. George said, "I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately." And that was great in my teens and 20's.

But as you get older, you find rebelling for it's own sake doesn't seem that fun. I remember an interview with Jon Waters, a director who did many gross films in his youth. The interviewer asked him about how his movies weren't the same now that he is older. I don't remember his exact words, but he said something along the lines of making wild films that are gross in your 20's is fun - doing it in your 40's is pathetic.

That's kind the way I felt about listening to George Carlin. I thought I'm willing to stand up for what I believe in and take the heat, but I'm not interested in just shocking people.

And that's what my friends and I used George for, shocking people. "Hey, listen to this." "Listen to this comedian rattle off these cuss words." George Carlin and Cheech and Chong were our mild, white, midwestern way of rebelling! We loved it because we knew our parents and teachers didn't!

Well, when I didn't need to shock anybody anymore, I thought there was no need for George. Unfortunately, what I didn't realize - was that George wasn't shocking people just for shock's sake either. George was also standing up for what he believed in and taking whatever heat came with it.

So then after a few interviews and a couple of HBO specials, I finally realized that. But I still never watched him much. "Ehh, I catch it later. I don't have the time now." Unfortunately, now that there will be no new material, I might be able to catch up on his stuff.

George Carlin didn't believe in an afterlife. Hopefully, he's wrong, because he deserves a good place in it.

George Carlin’s Secret News from ‘When Will Jesus Bring The Pork Chops’
Announcer: Good Evening ladies and gentlemen, it’s time for the secret news.
Ssshhh.
Here’s the secret news:
All people are afraid.
No one knows what they’re doing.
Everything is getting worse.
Some people deserve to die.
Your money is worthless.
No one is properly dressed.
At least one of your children will disappoint you.
The system is rigged.
Your house will never be completely clean.
All teachers are incompetent.
There are people who really dislike you.
Nothing is as good as it seems.
Things don’t last.
No one is paying attention.
The country is dying.
God doesn’t care.
Ssshhh.

A link to George Carlin's home page
An interview with George Carlin from NPR's Fresh Air

MOVIES/VIDEOS and COMICS: General Zod For President

I've seen some interesting sites for people running for president - or people who want someone to run.

But this site is the best by far! - OlderMusicGeek


When I first came to your planet and demanded your homes, property and very lives, I didn't know you were already doing so, willingly, with your own government. I can win no tribute from a bankrupted nation populated by feeble flag-waving plebians. In 2008 I shall restore your dignity and make you servants worthy of my rule. This new government shall become a tool of my oppression. Instead of hidden agendas and waffling policies, I offer you direct candor and brutal certainty. I only ask for your tribute, your lives, and your vote.
-- General Zod
Your Future President and Eternal Ruler

Kneel before Zod!
RAPID CITY (AP) -- The ideological and spiritual source of the "Kneel Before Zod" campaign is General Zod, outstanding leader of the national liberation movement of the United States. Reflected in the idea are the love of might and absolute trust in the ruler. General Zod embarked upon the road of revolution with the idea as valuable ideological and spiritual pabulum and mixed himself with the people to find a new road of the revolution. While in the Phantom Zone in 1979, he came to have the idea that one can win a victory only when one is responsible for the revolution in one's country and carries it out in reliance on the strength of one's people.


I do not take orders. I give them. Congress shall no longer have the ability to impeach me or override my decisions, and the Supreme Court shall not meddle in government affairs.

Your freedom will be expanded. You will be even more free to give your money and lives to me, and to be my eternal subjects.

Eliminate the Iraq War. The Iraq War has shifted $187 billion to the defense industry. How is this "defense industry" to kneel before me? Are my praises to be sung as footnotes in their paperwork? You will stop giving these corporations your wealth. I suggest you put the money into your own schools and health care, so that I may have intelligent, healthy servants. I will indulge your wishes if you all want a Westernized, unpopular regime in Iraq, and I too shall gloat in its troubles, but it will not be done at my expense.

Universal health care. Even a criminal like myself is shocked that millions are not able to get health insurance and cannot pay for basic surgery. Who are these power brokers that allow the pigpen to become wormy and filthy? I demand your very lives, but I am not such an imbecile as to institutionalize suffering and poverty. You have my assurance that this shall change swiftly.

Corporate reform. You people have become disgusting minions to these things you call "corporations". These things take your money and your land, put you into debt, send your jobs overseas, provide you with unsafe foods, and sue you when you say anything bad about them. Yet you people fatten them up at the ballot box. You give them free land, name your stadiums after them, allow them to telemarket you, and even sacrifice your own bankruptcy protections. Quite frankly it astonishes me. I will break this sickly codependency. It is I who shall be your ruler. I shall empower you with wealth to give me as tribute. A corporation cannot bow to me or give me tribute that comes from the heart.

You will buy U.S. made items. Why do you buy Chinese-made items when you know that it sells out the jobs of your family and friends? How will you buy those cheap things when you have no job? You are sending my wealth and tribute to foreign lands. I will not tolerate this.

A link to the General Zod for president home page

MUSIC: Real Names Of Some Musicians

I found this on Yahoo when I was checking my email. The original piece had ten, but I just put the ones I found most interesting. - OlderMusicGeek

List Of The Day: Performers Who Won’t Be Changing Their Stage Names Anytime Soon
by Rob O'Connor

Would a rose smell any sweeter if it had been named a bowel evacuator? It'd be a little odd. Celebrities often change their names because their real ones suck. Or they know no one will remember it. Not everyone can be born with the name Bruce Springsteen, after all. In the case of Miley Cyrus, well, she got stuck being Hannah Montana because someone thought it'd be a better idea if the name rhymed! That may be true for song lyrics, but it's not necessary for a stage name. So we here at List of the Day applaud Ms. Cyrus' taking back her name, but it made us wonder what would happen if others followed suit.

Now Prince tried to change his name to hieroglyphics. And Johnny Cougar slowly worked his way to John Cougar Mellencamp and finally John Mellencamp, but here are some others who have never looked back. They are who they say they are.

John Denver--Henry John Deutschendorf: Well, first off he's dead, so he won't be making any new decisions. But even had he lived I don't see Henry here opting to switch back to that last name. I wonder if he had trouble spelling it. I wouldn't want to have to fill out forms and endorse checks with that many consonants to worry about. Imagine getting pulled over for a DWI and being asked to spell your name. Stick with Denver.

Cher--Cherilyn Sarkisian: Once you're a one-name celebrity, you don't look back. You've made it.

Gene Simmons--Chaim Witz: As music's most famous marketer, Gene Simmons saw his future and knew it wasn't Chaim Witz. Just like he didn't name his band Radio Free Vestibule. Kiss was obviously a stronger choice. The man may have difficulty singing and A&E knows his "reality" show has the most scripted feel of anything I've seen in terms of "reality" (I didn't even realize he had a dog until they spent an entire episode looking for it.), but the man knows how to put his name and image on everything. So break out the Witz! (I like how he talks of how proud he is of being a Jew - even said in an interview that the interview wasn't a "real Jew", but he didn't take a very Jewish stage name! - OMGeek)

Lou Reed--Butch Firbank: Ok, Lou Reed really is Lou Reed's name, but that didn't stop a rumor started in CREEM magazine that Lou's real name was Butch Firbank. Someone had written in to ask if Lou Reed was a pun on "Lurid" and the cheeky editor decided on Lou's new name of origin. It still from time to time gets considered a fact. My favorite kind: the ones that aren't true but should be.

Elton John--Reginald Kenneth Dwight: Oh Reggie! Supper's ready! You can hear why this wasn't going to work. Though why he would to decide to pick a last name that could either be interpreted as a toilet or a person who frequents prostitutes. If it's considered hard to be a pimp, imagine how much worse it is to be the guy on the other end. Look at that Spitzer dude. He wishes he was only likened to a toilet these days.

I'd like to add David Bowie to this list, just because he changed his name from David Jones because he didn't want to be confused with Davey Jones of The Monkees. And because I actually got a question on a trivial game right because of this. It asked which name was most common in England like John Smith is in America. And I figured if there were two famous musicians named David Jones, that had to be the name! - OlderMusicGeek

a link to the original piece.