TELEVISION/VIDEOS: TV Reimagined: Futurama

http://lezgetreal.com/2012/06/tv-reimagined-futurama/

ENTERTAINMENT: You don't have to turn on the red alert?

TELEVISION/VIDOES: I should have known

TELEVISION/VIDEOS: Star Trek, The Knights Of The Round Table

MOVIES/VIDEOS and TELEVISION/VIDEOS: Want To Smell Like Kirk?

Meant to do this for Valentine's Day - you know, cus Valentine's Day and Star Trek just go together! - OlderMusicGeek

All big movies - and some smaller ones - have a lot of promotional merchandise, but this is one of the more strange ones: they're coming out with a Star Trek cologne.

So...many...jokes.

The real Trekkie man will be wearing either Tiberius (that's Kirk's middle name), Pon Farr (Vulcan horniness), or Red Shirt (they're the guys that always, um, die when they beam down to another planet).

Why would Star Trek fans need a cologne? They don't go on dates! (Just kidding.)
TV Squad: Hey Kirk, What's That Smell

How would you like to smell like a bad ass Starfleet Captain? Or give off that musky Vulcan mating smell? Well now you can! A tie in with the new Star Trek movie coming out this May will include Star Trek themed colognes. Genki Wear is producing the scents Tiberius, Pon Farr, and Red Shirt. So if you’re looking to woo that special geeky girl you’ve been looking to, ahem, stun with your phaser, this may do the trick. There’s no guarantee that the Tiberius cologne will attract green-skinned alien women, though. And let’s certainly hope that wearing Red Shirt doesn’t mean you’ll get killed off before the end of the date.
Geek Six: Smell, The Final Frontier

Apparently, the "Tiberius," "Pon Farr" and "Red Shirt" fragrances will be available in finer stores starting the spring for an undisclosed price. Start saving guys. After all, who could resist the the enchanting musk of James Tiberius Kirk, the raging hormones of Vulcan pon far or the live-fast, die young personality of a red shirt stock character?

comments...
Dirkfart Faeclefunk: Was this tested on Klingons? "They're animals!"
Jrsy Devil's Food Cake®:Red Shirt... It's the last cologne you'll ever wear...
Gizmodo: Love, Jealousy, Passion...Star Trek Cologne For Men

Star Trek Uno, anyone? Perhaps you’d prefer a Vulcan cookie jar. Or maybe you’d like to buy your man some ... Star Trek cologne? Genki Wear is producing a trio of Star Trek inspired scents: Tiberius, Pon Farr, and Red Shirt. So, if you want your man to smell like Captain Kirk, go into a Vulcan heat, or get down like a red shirt, Star Trek cologne can make it happen. That is, if you’d date a guy who’d wear it.

comments...
Simcha: Bring on the dudes who smell like Kirk!
Chelle: WTF? They make one called “Red Shirt”? What does it smell like, death?
The Frisky: Would You Date A Guy Who … Wears Star Trek Cologne?

Have you ever wanted to smell like a sweaty James Doohan? Well, then, good news! CBS is licensing three Star Trek-themed body fragrances in order to market the new movie in the series.

comment...
Gauldar said: Put a pinch of it on your Vulcan neck.
Neatorama:Star Trek-Themed Cologne Coming Out Soon

Oh yes. GenkiWear is apparently developing three Star Trek-themed fragrances to be released in the spring. For those looking to engage another carbon-based lifeform and boldly go where -- nah, forget it, I'm not going to sit here and use lame Star Trek lines as tired sexual euphemisms. I'm above that. So I'll just say that true nerds can rejoice in their complete devotion to one of the world's nerdiest creations as they spray some "Tiberius" on their wrists. I just hope nobody seriously thinks a scent called "Pon Farr" or "Red Shirt" will help them beam a chick off the bridge and into their bed (it was just too easy!).

comment...
Skyhawk: Yeah baby. What woman can't resist Klingon musk? Oh wait that's actually fanboy B.O. Nevermind.
The Huffington Post: Star Trek Cologne:The Next Generation of Nerdom

Usually I’m confused and upset by rampant movie merchandising. I don’t really need Wall-E themed kleenex, or a James Bond Omega watch. OK, scratch that. I’d like an Omega James Bond watch, but there’s no way I could afford it.

Anyways.

Despite my antipathy towards this kind of branding exercise, I find myself oddly excited over the news that the a new line of men’s cologne will be accompanying the new Star Trek film, due out in May. The three scents - “Red Shirt”, “Pon Farr” and “Tiberius” - conjure the muskiness of command, Vulcan mating rituals, and Captain Kirk respectively.

Now, you might be asking yourself “which Star Trek scent is right for me?” Well, this is a deeply personal decision, one you must come to after hours of painful introspection. For me, the choice is clear. If I wear “Red Shirt”, my odds of dying on an away mission increase exponentially. And as I understand it, “Pon Farr” can only be worn once every seven years, and will necessitate some sort of grim battle to the death.

No, “Tiberius” is the Trek cologne for Graeme. Because really, who doesn’t want to smell like Captain James T(iberius). Kirk? A galaxy full of sexy and occassionally green space-babes can’t be wrong!

Nunc Scio: WANT: Star Trek Cologne

I am not prepared to live in a world wear there is Star Trek-themed perfume, okay? Forget the "Red Shirt" one, because it assumably will smell like sweat and fear and having just pissed yourself in fear, but "Pon Farr"? The Vulcan mating time, when they basically hump anything that moves? How was this not recognized as the worst idea in the entire world immediately? Also, how can you wear a scent based on James T. Kirk, the galaxy's greatest poonhound, and not get fucked to death by hot green-skinned alien women?

Okay, "Tiberius" might be okay. But I highly disapprove of the others.

comments:
Scott said: Does Pon Farr burn you when you put it on, causing you unbearable pain until you get some tail?
Zach Oat said: "The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the C.K.One."
ZeroCorpse said: Other Trek scents I'm looking forward to: Tribble, Mudd, Horta, KHAAAAAAAAAN!
telezombie said: Dude....if they made Khan I would so buy that by the gallon and bathe in it daily.
Topless Robot: Who Wants to Smell Like a Rutting Vulcan?

MOVIES/VIDEOS, TELEVISION/VIDEOS and BOOKS: The Top 7 Most Embarrassing Moments In Science Fiction

This is from the blog, Slice of Scifi. - OlderMusicGeek

The Top 7 Most Embarrassing Moments in Science Fiction
Posted by Sam on Friday, 25 Apr 2008
Submitted by: Mike McCafferty (SoSF Guest Contributor)

A list! An internet list! Ooooh, Shiny! Clickey-clickey!

Let’s face it, despite our brains being larger than that of the general populace, even Sci-fi fans are drawn to internet lists like Mynocks to Kessel running smuggler ships. It would be easy to cobble together another “Top 10 best Sci-Fi series EVAR” that get pushed out by lesser websites, slap it on the site for people to howl that I left off their favorite show and call it a solar day. But that’s not how I roll, peeps.

Instead, I present the worst moments of Sci-Fi. We’re still in a golden age of Sci-fi where every network carries at least one show and we even have a channel that shows only Science Fiction (and wrestling…um, wha?), but that was not always the case. The Cause stumbled for many years and still has missteps of judgment where we all grimace as the skeptics nod their heads and proclaim that Sci-fi is just for kids. So I have cobbled together the top 5 moments, the ones that slow us down or stopped us altogether. They are actually in chronological order, but we do love lists so…

7 . Lost in Space – When they lost their nerve.

Mention Lost in Space nowadays and you instantly think “Danger, Will Robinson”, Dr. Smith’s bumbling idiocy and if that chimp they strapped the phony ears to ever went on a rampage and ripped off a cameraman’s face.

But did you ever watch the first 10 episodes? They were compelling, thoughtful, dangerous stories of a family that’s trying desperately to survive in a hostile universe. Watch the pilot episode and Dr. Smith actually KILLS a guy, and then tries to kill the Robinson family using the reprogrammed robot. Now that’s good sci-fi.

So what happened? Well, for one, it’s hard to justify keeping a guy on your ship who wants to kill you every episode, so the writers had to soften Dr. Smith down. The comedy trio/uncomfortable sexual grouping of Dr. Smith, Will Robinson and The Robot instantly appealed to the youth market and the network seized upon it. From that point on, it became dumbed down, space pirate, camp that resembled the Adam West Batman more than a survival series. Nonetheless, the short-term effect was ratings gold, GOLD I say Will!

The long -term effect was to play into every skeptics hands that Science Fiction was silly, children’s fare. In this case they were right. Well, at least Star Trek was on the same years so it offset the…uh oh…

6. Star Trek – “Spock’s Brain”

Trek fans rejoice! Your long hours of letter writing (present day emailing), picketing NBC (present day sending nuts) and pamphlet circulating (er, blogs?) have done the impossible! You have actually saved your show in a first ever decision from a network! Huzzah, you’ve earned this! Here is the premiere episode of season three: A planet of intellectual morons, ruled by women (no jokes here!) steals Mr. Spock’s Brain and puts in a computer (huh?). Kirk and company beam down with the brainless body of Mr. Spock and are captured by the Sudoku challenged women (no jokes here!) and must free themselves and return Spock’s Brain to it’s body!!

Considered one of the worst of the 79 episodes, “Spock Brain” was the ridiculous, insulting episode served up to the fans following their tireless work to save the show. True, NBC did the series no favors by slashing the budget and shifting it to the Friday at 10pm time slot. Still, the sight of Spock, brainless but controlled by a hat like device, stumbling around put a bad taste in the fans mouths and guaranteed the show would be cancelled.

This of course left William Shatner time to…

5. Bill Shatner Performs Rocket Man.

In the pre-Star Wars 70’s, we almost lost the thread on Sci-Fi. SF Shows were few and far between and films were a joke. Even worse, someone let Shatner out of his cage and he went ahead and recorded his now famous album “The Transformed Man”.

He followed this up with a performance during the Science Fiction awards where he outdid his Star Trek episode “Two Kirks” bit with THREE SHATNERS. The universe shuddered that day as a sweaty Bill spoke his way through the song with two pretaped versions of himself (If they were real, then this becomes Sci-fi’s BEST moment.). The audience, shocked and disoriented mustered applause at the end, but were later found washing those same hands crying “dirty, dirty, dirty!”

I’m not sure many saw the broadcast, but you only need the disaster to happen once for the memories to linger. Speaking of that…

4. The Star Wars Holiday Special – It is the stuff of legend. Let’s see we got:
# 1. A story line set around a family of Wookies who DON’T speak English, leaving us to guess what they are saying.
# 2. Bea Arthur
# 3. A drugged out Carrie Fisher singing some terrible ‘festival of light’ song to the Star Wars theme music.
# 4. Harrison Ford and Mark Hamill sleepwalking through their performances.
# 5. Harvey Korman as a 4 armed cooking show host.
# 6. Art Carney as a friend of the Wookies (Bet you a million dollars he had no idea what a Wookie was before the show. Probably still didn’t after.)
# 7. Jefferson Starship (I can see the pitch “Hell, they got the name ‘Starship’ in their title!”) as a holographic rock and roll band.
# 8. Bea Arthur.

This was a franchise killer if there ever was one. It only aired once and Lucas wisely has destroyed every legal copy around. Unfortunately, for those of us who stayed up and WATCHED the thing, it is seared in our minds as only traumatic events can. Aside from the mildly interesting Boba Fett appearance, this show was a cheaply made, awkwardly produced money grab by Lucas and company. He learned his lesson…until…

3. Jar-Jar Binks! For all the Lucas haters out there, the line of incrimination begins at the Star Wars Christmas Special and runs through Jar-Jar. This cloying, irritating CGI abomination almost instantly reduced any goodwill from a Star Wars fan to the franchise by half. Aside from the fact that he was vaguely racist, he just wasn’t FUNNY, a prerequisite for characters billed as ‘Comic relief’. The only ‘relief’ came when Lucas wisely pushed Jar-Jar into the same vault as the Christmas Special and locked the key. The damage was done and the next two films had to work extra hard to escape the Gungan’s insidious plot to make the second trilogy unwatchable.

2. The Matrix Reloaded

When The Matrix came out, the singularity of Science Fiction had arrived. With amazing special effects, badass fight sequences, Star Wars like mythology and trendy people in trendy (black) clothes, The Matrix showed the world that Sci-Fi could be mainstream and cool.

Then they made a sequel.

Reloaded isn’t terrible, just self-indulgent. Gone was the lean, sharp story telling; replaced now with a bloated plot, too many characters (Jada Pinket? Really?) and too much CGI. What was once a simple story of “Beat the bad guys”, morphed into keymasters, dreadlocked twins and French dudes that we just didn’t care about.

Of course, what I’m really building up to is this: The rave.

Yup, an entire franchise was sacrificed so that hip, trendy people living underground could dance in a sweaty sexy montage. This was when Sci-Fi fans just lowered their heads in their heads in the movie theater and shook it slowly.

1. January 1st, 2001

I’m not talking about the classic Stanley Kubrick movie, I’m talking about the actually date. See the movie 2001 is a masterpiece of Science and Fiction – a best guess as to how the future could/should turn out from one of the world’s smartest scientists and authors. With moon bases, commercial space flight to orbiting space stations and a manned mission to Jupiter, it seemed logical and desirable. After all, the very next year we landed on the Moon. The Frelling Moon!

January 1st, 2001 is embarrassing to all Science fiction fans because we’re still stuck on Earth. 32 years after that film came out and 29 since the last Apollo mission, we still haven’t gone back to the Moon, much less landed on Mars (But we have probed Uranus!) Sure we have the internet, Xbox and the carpool lanes but the basic tenet of Science Fiction to explore has fallen by the wayside and as guardians of the future, we have to take a little blame for it. We can only look to the hazy sky now and know that we missed a golden opportunity. There will be no real life Star Trek, Star Wars or 2001 for our generation. Most people recovered from bad hangovers January 1st, 2001. Science Fiction fans sighed and pulled out their copies of 2010 and 3001, hoping maybe they’ll get one more shot.

Well, there it was. You know what the best part of internet lists are? They’re always right! Let’s print this baby out and put it in a time vault for the next generation to learn from. This is pure gold pressed latinum!

Wuzat? You have a better list?! Well, there’s a comment section on this site, Admiral, use it! Take me to task or tweak the list but be warned: bring your “A” game or you just might make next years list. That is, if there is an internet next year…

Share this post: bookmark it! | digg it! | reddit! | Trackback URL for this post

A link to the original post
A link to Slice of Scifi